🎃 Autumn Quiz: Which Political Figure Are You?

A Halloween special for friends who dare to face their true political selves!

Circle the emoji that best matches your answer, and discover who you really are 👻

1 – A new barber just opened in your village. What do you think?

💩 It’s obviously a front for the Pakistani mafia’s money laundering scheme.

🐻 Cool! It’s great to see the village growing.

🌿 I hope they use cruelty-free products!

❤️ Hopefully some future comrades!

2 – You spot a delivery truck next to a construction site. What do you do?

💩 I film the driver, harass him, and demand to know the “secret plans” because I’m convinced it’s a migrant housing centre.

🐻 Nothing. I mind my own business.

🌿 Shame it’s not an eco-friendly vehicle.

❤️ Nice! People are getting new beds to sleep in!

3 – For you, the ecological crisis is:

❤️ The fault of capitalism.

🐻 Something technology can fix.

💩 Caused by foreigners.

🌿 The result of human greed.

4 – The housing crisis in Ireland (and across Europe) is:

💩 The fault of migrants.

🌿 a chance to build eco-homes.

🐻 Not great.

❤️ The result of bad political choices that benefit landlords and investors while screwing the poor.

5 – You see halal products at the supermarket:

🐻 What’s halal?

🌿 A pity we still overconsume meat — veggie options suit everyone, really.

❤️ Ugh, supermarkets… temples of capitalism and overproduction.

💩 A plot against my country’s culture and race!

6 – There’s a Drag Queen Story Hour at your local library:

🐻 What’s that?

💩 I call the Burke family and stage a sit-in to defend “traditional values.”

❤️ As long as gender exists, inequality exists — kids should meet people from all walks of life.

🌿 Fun! I hope they use vegan makeup!

🧙‍♀️ Now, check your results!

🐻 Mostly Bears: You’re Cheer Bear from the Care Bears! Sweet, kind, and hopeful, but beware, the algorithm and David Icke’s mouldy YouTube videos might still try to radicalise you.

❤️ Mostly Hearts: You’re Rosa Luxemburg! Congratulations, comrade. You’ve seen through the fascist fog and know the struggle is far from over.

🌿 Mostly Leaves: You’re Greta Thunberg! Brave, aware, and stubbornly hopeful, you believe the world can still be saved.

💩 Mostly Poops: You’re a Fascist Piece of Shite. You drink David Icke’s piss and eat Trump’s crap for breakfast. Your dreams include owning a Tesla, eating steak at every meal, and having a trad wife who washes your pants. You are, frankly, despicable.