Conspiracy Farmer Brad McOrf Forgets to Investigate Himself, Again

Ireland’s favourite full-time shiteposter and part-time sheep stalker has been hard at work this week, bravely exposing what he claims are vast money-laundering operations.

According to our resident conspiracy politician, vape shops, phone repair places, and barbers are all fronts for international crime, political manipulation, and shadowy cabals rubbing their hands together over beard oil and cracked iPhone screens.

It’s a bold theory, delivered with the usual Facebook Lives filmed from a muddy field, heavy breathing included.

Unfortunately, our hero appears to have forgotten an entire category of people who might deserve a closer look.

Funny, that.

Local gossip has been bubbling away for years about a certain group of so-called farmers. You know the type.

They appear next to livestock just long enough to film a video, then vanish again, ideally before anyone asks awkward questions about animal welfare, employment history, or why they seem to have endless time to scream racist shite on the internet.

In the best-case scenario, they merely stalk animals for content. In the more common scenario, they act as unpaid, or sometimes very well-paid, relays for the kind of propaganda we were told was supposed to have died sometime between typhus and medieval plumbing.

Racist, sexist, thick as slurry, and proudly fascist, with all the intellectual depth of a wet fence post.

Rumours suggest these cosplay farmers are quietly absorbing foreign money while pretending to mind sheep. Funds allegedly linked to Steve Bannon, Elon Musk, and Vladimir Putin, three men who have never met a democracy they didn’t want to set on fire.

Calling yourself a farmer is useful.

It lets you slip neatly into a rural population that has historically been more receptive to far-right nonsense. A population shaped by property interests, patchy education, and a long tradition of siding with whatever regime promises to protect their patch, no matter how rotten the price.

It also gives these slurry-bottom feeders a lovely coating of authenticity. Real Irish salt-of-the-earth vibes, lads. It lends a false sense of respectability that helps followers look past unpaid tax bills, welfare fraud, and a marriage into a family whose Nazism is not metaphorical.

At a time when fake farmers are haunting the countryside like a rash that won’t respond to cream, it’s worth asking a few questions.

Could the rise in treatment-resistant parasites be linked to stress caused by constant harassment?

Could abnormal stress levels in livestock have something to do with lads shouting at sheep for likes instead of, you know, farming?

We’re not saying it’s connected.

We’re just saying it’s very funny that the conspiracy crowd never seem to investigate themselves.