Brad O’Balbh Opens His Heart (But Not His Home)

Brad O’Balbh, part-time patriot and full-time Facebook philosopher, was once again hard at work this morning spreading the usual Fap Right vomit online.

Between two conspiracy memes and a photo of a pint captioned “Real Irish Culture”, he typed his favourite line:

“If you like migrants so much, how many are you ready to take into your home?”

But something unexpected happened.Someone replied:

“If you like the Irish so much, how many Irish families on housing waiting lists, living in hotels, are you hosting in your home?”

For a brief, shining moment, Brad felt something unusual — a small, unfamiliar pang. Was it guilt? empathy?

No, it was just indigestion from last night’s microwaved chicken fillet roll.

Still, the question lingered. In an alternate universe, Brad took it as a sign.

He opened his heart and his house.

He offered cups of tea and support to struggling families, helped them navigate first-time buyer schemes, and stopped opposing every new housing development in the country.

But this is Ireland, not Narnia.

In reality, Brad did nothing.

He kept scrolling, licking his digital wounds, and looking for new ways not to sound like a total eejit online.

Because that’s what truly matters to Brad O’Balbh, not justice, not housing, not empathy, just not losing the argument on Facebook.

So he’ll keep saying that deporting foreigners will magically build houses, that Ireland’s problems start and end at the border, and that facts are woke propaganda.

100% Fap Right Certified:

Racist ✅

Clueless ✅

Economically illiterate ✅

But sure, God love him, he tries.