Carrichrist-On-a-Cracker Man Responds to In-Flight Medical Emergency Armed Only With ‘Own Research’ and Facebook Comments

Passengers on a budget flight from Alicante to Knock were treated to high drama yesterday when a call went out for a doctor mid-air,– only for local man Brad Pógmothóin, of Carrichrist-On-a-Cracker, to volunteer, explaining that while he wasn’t technically a doctor, he had “done his own research” on COVID.

The only qualified medical personnel on board were a brain surgeon, Bride O’Cliste, and a dental nurse. “I said to myself, I’ve read the posts, I’ve watched the videos, I know what’s what,” Brad told his 1,842 Facebook followers while live-streaming from the aisle. “My last breakthrough was discovering that vaccines cause turbo-cancers, I discovered this on a very reliable website fact-checked by other researchers of their own truth.”

Flight attendants initially hesitated, but one steward publicly backed Brad, confessing he too had begun “doing his own research” and hoped one day to be brave enough to “help someone in danger”.

While O’Cliste correctly diagnosed a pulmonary embolism and pleaded for coordinated action with emergency specialists on the ground, Brad’s Facebook live was flooded with advice:

• “Looks like food poisoning. Give activated charcoal and ginger.”

• “Probably the effects of the COVID vaccine. Heavy detox, high protein.”

• “Ginger and lemon fix everything,” added a tradwife influencer.

As cabin crew debated whether to crush garlic into the ginger, precious minutes ticked away. The passenger tragically died, while the steward reassured viewers that “ginger might help indeed, but it would be better with garlic.”

Speaking after landing, O’Cliste said she would “remember in future that people who do their own research should be sedated before any help can be offered to the regular folks in need.”

Brad described the incident as “quite an experience” and announced a new weekly Facebook Live series, Community Emergency Medicine With Brad, where people share their own research “to help others help others” in case of crisis.