Dr. John Lenin Warns: Fascism Grows Best in Bourgeois Shite

It was 4 in the morning when a quiet rural community near Ballybiggots was awoken by a strange phenomenon.

A man, later identified as Connor McWanker, was spotted stalking a herd of sheep, filming the scene while growling in a rural culchie dialect.

The local postman, who first found the clearly disoriented man, explained:

“From what I gathered, he was shouting about the state buying land for rewilding. He called it an attack on our culture, a conspiracy to make Ireland look more like Africa for the Great Replacement or something. The sheep didn’t seem to care.”

Locals gathered, wondering whether to call an ambulance or an exorcist.

Our in-house sociologist Dr. John Lenin insists there’s probably no mental illness involved, “just fascism.”

“These people jump on poorly designed ecological actions,” Dr. Lenin says, “because our governments truly are doing things wrong, ignoring local dynamics while letting vulture funds snatch up land that could go to farming or housing. That’s a very fertile ground for fascism.”

By sunrise, other local men had joined Connor, adding weird, unrelated racist claims:

• people of colour were rapists,

• people of colour were stealing their houses,

• people of colour were forcing white people into Islam through halal food.

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The sheep, reportedly, remained unconverted.

Dr. Lenin concluded with his usual optimism:

“If you don’t address the shite your bourgeoisie-sucking politicians are producing, fascism is inevitable.And if you want to be rid of fascism for good, you’ll need more than 1,000 cheap houses in six months. That’ll just buy you time until the bourgeoisie’s next pile of shite fertilises the next wave.”