Far-Right Meltdown: Three Local Fascists Compete for “Most Persecuted Man in Ireland” Title

The fascist internet is bubbling again!

In an impromptu race to victimhood, three local champions of mediocrity — Sean O’Eejit from Cowards Vanguard, John McKerel from BallyBrats Says No, and Connor Full O’Shite from Off Grid Morons — all claim that The Shitehawk Sentinel is targeting them personally.

Sean O’Eejit: “It’s definitely about me!”

Sean O’Eejit, self-proclaimed defender of Western civilisation and driver of a 2003 Nissan Micra, insists the Shitehawk writers are obsessed with him.

“I’m the one doing Facebook Lives from me car! I spent hours explaining why Trump deserves the Nobel Peace Prize! And I post loads about halal meat and suspicious cars, it has to be me they’re talking about!”

Strong logic, Sean. Truly unassailable.

John McKerel: “No, I’m the main target!”

Not to be outdone, John McKerel from BallyBrats Says No declared that it was probably a coincidence for Sean, because, obviously, he is the real victim. After all, John is the one who films himself urinating on the walls of potential IPAS buildings, harassing migrant workers on “suspicious” construction sites, and ranting about “foreign students’ invasion.”

“I’ll absolutely have to go the legal way,” John said, while typing “communist leftie loonies” in all caps. “It’s obvious they’re targeting me personally.”

The court system is reportedly bracing for another 47-page Facebook post in legal format.

Connor Full O’Shite: “Every word is about me!”

Meanwhile, Connor Full O’Shite from Off Grid Morons is certain it’s all about him.

“Lads, it’s pure coincidence, but every single thing they write describes me. They must be watching me all day, online and in real life!”

Connor further revealed that his enemies are, in fact, one single person operating a thousand fake accounts with the ability to:

• work full-time,

• write multiple articles per day,

• react to his posts,

• and even argue with themselves to simulate having friends.

A psychiatrist we contacted expressed concern:

“Mr. Full O’Shite shows clear signs of paranoia and may pose a threat to himself.”

Experts Weigh In

According to Dr. Máire Ní Ollamh, specialist in Far-Right Eejit Studies at the University of Dingle,

“Playing the victim is a classic fascist move. They harass, doxx, and bully people online, then cry when someone laughs at them.”

She added that the pattern is always the same:

1. Threaten people,

2. Pretend to be the victim,

3. Cry like toddlers in a sweet shop,

4. Repeat.

Final Notes from The Sentinel

While most of these lads simply need a hug and a hobby, one or two may genuinely need professional help. And for the rest, if you find yourself described here, congratulations! You’ve just outed yourself as the racist gobshite we were talking about.