Fiona McFéintruailliú Declares War on Big Pharma After being prescribed Plasters

Pharmacies across Ireland are on high alert after Fiona McFéintruailliú, vice-president of Fap Right and Proud, courageously confronted modern medicine armed with nothing but a camera phone, righteous indignation, and a box of plasters.

The video, filmed in her local pharmacy, begins with Fiona shouting, “I have blisters and the doctor prescribed me this!”. Holding the leaflet like a papal decree, she points to the “Side Effects” section and demands answers:

“Do I really have to be subjected to mild skin reactions like redness, itching, burning sensation, allergic contact dermatitis, signs of severe allergic reaction like swelling of the face or throat, difficulty breathing, rash, and eczema flare-up?”

The pharmacist, visibly torn between his medical training and the instinct to flee, called for a superior.

“We use these even for babies,” the senior pharmacist calmly explained.

Fiona, unswayed, accused him of participating in a globalist conspiracy.

“So there are some people who die from plasters! You just won’t say it! You’re sacrificing lives for profit!”

Witnesses say she then dramatically declared, “You won’t use me as your Big Pharma guinea pig!” before storming out of the shop, leaving behind a queue of confused pensioners and one man who just wanted cough syrup.

Pharmacy staff told The Shitehawk Sentinel that this was not Fiona’s first crusade:

“Last month it was paracetamol. The month before, the flu vaccine. Don’t even get us started on COVID, she came every day for two weeks...”

Moments later, Fiona was spotted at her local grocery store, proudly carrying ginger and lemons. “Nothing better than nature,” she told our reporter. “Heals everything, even blisters and fluoride. Wake up sheeple!”