Local Psychologist Warns Positive Parenting May Cause Wokeness, Gender Confusion, and Other Catastrophes

A local self-declared psychologist, Helen Aisteach, has sounded the alarm on the dangers of “positive parenting,” warning that if Irish mums don’t toughen up on their kids, the nation will be lost to softness, wokeness, and gender changes by Tuesday.

Helen, who earned her title after years of scrolling Psychology Today while waiting at the community nurse with her seven children, has now become a full-time crusader on every mum’s group Facebook will let her into.

“You’re raising them soft,” she insists. “And the next thing, they’ll start saying please and thank you, and before you know it, they’re demanding pronouns.”

Unlike modern parents, Helen says she was raised properly:

“We were taught to respect men, cook, fold laundry, and keep our mouths shut. Except about the woke agenda, there you have to complain.”

Her husband, Paddy, supports her campaign wholeheartedly, provided the stew is ready by six and the skirting boards are dusted.

Helen points proudly to her children as proof that her methods work.

“We don’t do positive parenting, and look at the results. Kevin has loads of friends. Just last week, we had to collect him from the Garda station after he and seventeen lads beat up a foreigner. That’s what I call social skills. Boys will be boys!”

The couple’s two daughters are thriving too, thanks to careful family planning.

“We pulled them straight out of sex-ed,” Helen beams. “My brother and Paddy’s dad both agreed it would only put strange ideas in their heads.”

Experts note that 40% of young people in Ireland report being groomed as children, while assaults against foreigners and LGBTQIA+ people by teenagers are on the rise.

But Helen and Paddy remain unbothered.

“Those things are just part of life. What really keeps us up at night is the woke agenda. Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls."

And Helen will be on Facebook, making sure everyone knows it.