Local Wannabe Politician Declares War on Gender, Logic, and Foreign Doctors

This Halloween, the streets of Oldfartle were alive with the sound of moans, and half-baked political opinions.

The local far-right troupe Oldfartle Says No held its annual Zombie Parade Against Common Sense, where residents dressed up as zombie bigots with Wi-Fi and groaned dramatically in front of a local pub.

After the performance, I approached one of the parade’s stars: Mike Ó Bláidí, local wannabe politician, full-time fascist, and part-time biology enthusiast.

Rosa: “I see you’re shitposting on Facebook about trans folks. Why this obsession with other people’s genitals, Mike?”

Mike Ó Bláidí: “Because it’s a perversion of nature! You’re either a man or a woman. It’s obvious with what’s in your pants.”

Rosa: “ I suppose you learned sociology at the same place you learned empathy?”

Mike: “It’s not personal, Rosa. The woke trans ideology is in our schools! And the surgeons—busy changing sexes—don’t have time to save lives!”

At that exact moment, a man dressed as a zombie farmer tripped over his fake intestines—perfect metaphor for the movement’s intellectual guts spilling everywhere.

Because here’s the reality: gender-affirming surgeries are done by plastic and reconstructive surgeons, not by the teams who perform cardiac bypasses or emergency neurosurgery.

AND the people keeping trauma wards and ICUs afloat are, in fact, migrant doctors, those very foreigners Mike and his friends keep ranting about.

Across Europe, roughly 40% of hospital surgeons are foreign-trained, with Ireland topping the charts at over 42% of its doctors coming from abroad.

They’re the ones keeping the operating theatres running while homegrown patriots like Mike are busy hunting imaginary gender conspiracies on Facebook Live.

So when these lads whine about “life-saving surgeries delayed because of trans people,” remember:

• They don’t know how hospitals work.

• They don’t know a thing about surgical fields.

• They hate the doctors who actually do the saving.

• And they scare away the very professionals who might one day save their own lives.

  
  

If Irish healthcare is in crisis, it’s not because a handful of trans patients are receiving long-overdue care. It’s because racist gobshites make Ireland look like a hostile swamp for skilled migrants, while governments underfund public hospitals and privatize everything that breathes.

So, next time you hear a fascist creep shouting about “life-saving surgeries stolen by trans folks” remember: the only thing these people ever saved is their own ignorance.

Rosa Liechtenstein, live from the zombie apocalypse of Oldfartle.